The Beginning

The beginning of my journey.

I'm not happy with how I look.  I've watched myself grow but see a different person in the mirror.  When thin people look at themselves and see weight, I look at myself and see thin.  Its an illusion, made up in my mind recalling the early 80's when Jane Fonda was my friend.  I would do Jane at least 5 times a week.  I felt great, size 5, lean, trim and felt it .  That was 1988. 

Its Dec 2010 and I'm miserable, I've been for a period of time.  I can't look at myself in the mirror and pretend the thin girl is looking back at me.  She's given up.  I miss her. 

I need a change.  Changes arrive in may forms, some are noticable, others creep up on you.  Weight is a sneaky insider.  When you begin to accept your size and continue your dietary path a day arrives and you feel the skin stretch.  I don't mean bloating as in a period but a physical day on stretch change.  The mirror relays the message.  I hoped it was a period bloating feeling but I knew better, the clothes told me.  I reached my limit (at least I think so).

Being a road warrior and staying in hotels you have the opportunity to view many infomercials.  I've seen plenty.  Total Gym was a constant.  I began to research.  Was this device as good as they say it was?  These infomercials have been on the air for years.  Outlasting Richard Simmons, George and Ronco.  Granted I have a "set it and forget it" which works decent but the Total Gym infomercials were always refreshed.  Same two spokepersons (Christie and Chuck) with average people.  The small print "not typical results" depressed me.  Thoughts of...it won't work for me.  A thought creeped over me...its a blanket legal statement.

I gave in, ordered one last Wednesday and it arrived today.  I know my journey ahead of me is long, I'm 185 pounds, 5'4" and overweight, hate myself, tight clothes, ugly choices in the 14+ range on the clothes rack and I've had enough. 

I don't want to approach this as a "new year resolution" but a life changing decision.  I didn't tell my husband for days that I ordered it I wanted to wait.  I didn't want him to think its a crazy expensive approach to failure.  I'm doing this for me.

The gym has arrived, I've set it up, watched the videos and I'm scared of failure.  This blog will become my testiment...and driver to success!

Here we go....December 18, 2010...